Not normally bothering to have a resolution for the New Year, I found myself picking up a pal at Suvarnabhumi mid-December and stumbing across mine for 2011. His flight was delayed and there I was at the meeting point nearly two hours too early... This gave me a chance to actually spend some time working out how Suvarnabhumi is put together..... How many times have I emerged like a light-starved mole from a 15 hour plane journey, to be further confused by the multitude of never-ending escalators and stairways, half of which you're not allowed to use!
So that was handy, but the most handy thing about the wait was discovering a little gem of a book in one of the bookshops... Its title took me - ANGER MANAGEMENT, in big, bold typeface.
Such a small book... I was interested, and once I'd picked it up, that was it, I couldn't put it down.
Most expats in Thailand will admit, at times, the differences in Thailand, combined with the pace of things and perhaps the distance from home, can on occasion 'get you'. There are an endless list of potential causes.. bad service... bad driving... a particular family member... a pube in the tom yam - just to name a few. In contrast to the envious visions our Western friends hold of us spending our lives in Thailand (you know, sitting in some idyllic beach landscape, eating 'ever so healthy' food, rubbing shoulders with beautiful ladyboys etc etc), they may be surprised to know that Thailand can on occasion turn us into rampaging maniacs, capable of blasting the roof of the bahn and causing general havoc.. (the outside temperature can sometimes assist this). It is something the vast majority of us have experienced, and thus inevitably regretted... Thailand really is not a good place to 'boil over' either (if there is one), mainly because the Thai's themselves tend to be so good at keeping their own tempers throughout daily hardships (making you look like a complete ar*ehole x 50) but also because, if you make a Thai lose their temper, it will never be forgotten, ever (probably because they'll shoot you............... and regret it later, of course).
So I bought the book, and I have benefitted from it since. The author, V.Vajiramedhi, has written it in a epistolary form, from the author to one of his pupils, Pran. Each chapter is written in this way, representing a different lesson each time. It really does help the reader to understand and get to the heart of anger and frustration that we may sometimes experience, why and when it can occur, and most importantly, how to squash it, before it can take hold and do us damage...
I'll write verbatim here one of the chapters I like (but they're all good and come in many different styles).
Dear Pran,
There are many notable examples of optimism. To illustrate, I would like to relate to you a story that tells of the Buddha's gracious attitude. You will find how nobly optimism can turn a rock into a flower.
Just before Buddhist Lent, one year, the Buddha was invited to take up residence in the city of Veranja, where a Brahmin elder welcomed Him to an assembly of clergy. Initially, the Venanja Brahmin's conduct was in bad faith being full of doubts and sceptism about the Blessed One. He searched for ways to interrogate Him acrimoniously as in the following diatribe:
Brahmin: Gotama, they say you are vapid and flavourless. Is this true?
Buddha: Quite true, dear Brahmin, since flavour is comprised of sight, sound, smell, taste and touch, all of which I have renounced. Hence, when they accuse me of being flavourless, it is rightly said.
Brahmin: Gotama, they say you are destitute and without possessions. Is this true?
Buddha: True also, Brahmin, since possessions are composed of sight, sound, smell, taste and touch, all of which I have eradicated. Hence, when they accuse me of being without possessions, it is rightly said.
Brahmin: Gotama, they say you are a preacher of destruction. Is this true?
Buddha: What they accuse me of is true since I preach that you mush annihilate lust (addiction), rage (anger), delusion (ignorance), as well as all inherent evils. Hence, when they accuse me of being a preacher of destruction, it is rightly said.
Brahmin: Gotama, they say that you find everything objectionable. Is this true?
Buddha: It is, Brahmin, since I take offence in physical, verbal and mental wrongdoings, as well as in all inherent evils. Hence, when they accuse me of being critical, it is rightly said.
Brahmin: Gotama, they say that you have a penchant for suppression. Is this true?
Buddha: As true as they say, Brahmin, since I gave sermon on how to suppress lust, rage, delusion as well as all inherent evils. Hence, when they accuse me of having a penchant for suppression, it is rightly said.
Brahmin: Gotama, they say that you are an arsonist. Is this true?
Buddha: Also true, Brahmin, since I hold that all physical, verbal and mental wrongdoings should be incinerated and obliterated. I also call he who razes all inherant wrongdoings to the ground a top-notch arsonist. On the other hand, all evils that need to be obliterated, I have burned to ashes. Hence, when they accuse me of being an arsonist, it is rightly said.
Brahmin: Gotama, they say that you are a creature never to be reborn on the face of the earth (a damned creature). Is this true?
Buddha: This is also true, Brahmin, since I call one who severs himself totally from all defilements which lead back to the cycle of rebirth "a creature never to be reborn". As such, I myself have also eliminated categorically the cycle of rebirth. Hence, when they accuse me of being a creature never to be reborn, it is rightly said.
The Brahmin made a series of caustic accusations but the Buddha showed his optimism unfailingly. He turned all the accusations around, one by one, into compliments by means of positive thinking. Confronted with such an attitude, the Brahmin found the Buddha's way of thinking so fascinating that he vowed to become a Buddhist and was devout from that day.
Most people who are accused of such severe charges may either pay back in kind, i.e be enraged and resort to physical assault, or file a lawsuit for defamation, but optimistic sages view such accusations as being as light-weight as cotton.
Link to the book here:
